Analysis of a typical British newspaper

A couple of times in the last month Ive been tempted to pick out some of the news stories that really bugged me. Ive passed off the temptation...until now. Todays London Lite will be the source.

First up London fertility clinics have been found to be making blunders including dropping embryos, eggs and sperm on the floor or samples being mistakenly thrown into the rubbish. Furthermore frozen embryos had been allowed to thaw due to failed storage equipment. Clearly you couldnt trust these clinics to hold a piss up in a brewery. The worst blunder was when mixed-race babies were born to a white couple after a woman's eggs were fertilised with the wrong mans sperm.
Due to EU laws 2 ambulance crews were forced to ignore an emergency call by a dying man. A third crew, futher away than the other 2 had to respond because rigid EU working rules stated that the nearest 2 ambulance crews 'must take a break'. Presumably victims should synchronise their suffering with the EU enforced timetables for ambulance crews.
A channel 4 'probe' revealed that Londons busiest mosque has been letting preachers of hate 'flourish'. This kind of reporting is very sly. Channel 4 regards it as outrageous that one preacher said: 'The whole delusion of equality of women is foolishness'. Im with the preacher on that one. Another preacher stated that the Koran calls for men to 'beat women lightly'. Now this is unacceptable. But the media uses this obviously distasteful 2nd point to drive home a liberal viewpoint on the 1st point. By bunching these 2 points together, they seek to associate the two, and are encouraging the reader to come to a hasty and lazy conclusion. Also there was no need for the journalist to go snooping around central London mosques to find the viewpoints of contemporary 'radical' preachers. He could just as easily have sat on his news desk and opened a copy of Koran and the Hadiths and he would have come accross the very verses in which Mohammed encourages his followers to physically chastise women. He might even have come accross the verse which allows Muslims to rape female prisoners of war. But no its so much easier and PC to 'expose' 'extreme' individuals, rather than investigate the faith system of a noisy and violent minority group. It really pisses me off how these journalists dismiss a priori the possibility that these preachers could simply be preaching authentic Islam. Surely if a leader of that faith claims something that you regard as 'outrageous', the next logical step would be to investigate all the relevant religious texts, and the historical interpretations. The fact that they dont shows that they are not honest seekers of the truth.
Page 13 carries a picture of a topless black hero brandishing a sword. Credit where credit is due, the man jumped onto a train track to rescue a girl who was stuck. But only when you read the story do you realise that there was another man (unnamed) who jumped onto the tracks first and that it was this action that, by the black mans admission 'triggered' him to do the same. I'll leave it up to you to guess the reason why the first (and more heroic) man does not even get his name mentioned, but the second gets a glamorous 8inch pic complete with interview. By the way, the reason he was topless and brandishing a sword is that he is an actor for the Shakespeare theatre company. He plays the role of Caius Marcius Coriolanus, a Roman. Im thinking they probably wouldnt allow an actor to play the part in tracksuit bottoms, after all it isnt an accurate representation of what a Roman soldier would have looked like. So why do they allow a black man to play the part of a white European? Would they allow whites to play the part of black slaves in a play about the slave trade?
The disastrous institution that is the education system features prominently in todays paper. And no its not standards falling (although they are no doubt), but more hypocrisy from those in power. The public are constantly being told that standards are rising, but the proof of the pudding is in the eating. Ruth Kelly, the former Education secretary has decided to send her son to a private school, because the local state school is inadequate for dealing with her childs special needs. Im sure it is, but why then did she close down so many special schools? If the state system was working properly it would be able to deal with children who have special needs. She is a hypocrite for stating that state provision for special needs is adequate. Why are people surprised though, every government has been full of people who purchase advantages, look at 2 Jags Prescott, playing croquet in luxury accomodation at tax payers expense. Or remember the 200m trip in his Jaguar as Transport secretary because the lazy, fat oaf had probably finished servicing his secretary and couldnt muster the energy to walk.
Anyone who doesnt have an idea of how bad education is in this country need only to take a look at the following extract I took from the latest edition of the 'Private Eye':
Weakest Link, BBC 2
Anne Robinson: What G was the complex knot severed by Alexander the Great in the 4th century BC?
Contestant: Granny
You cant make it up. If you dont know the answer keep your trap shut, dont just blurt out the first word beginning with 'G' that you can think of.

Anne Robinson: What is the highest mountain in Scotland, Ben...what?
Contestant: Ben Everest

Talksport radio's Christmas day quiz
Presenter: Prince Albert was married to which Queen?
Contestant: Nathalie
Ok we all know that they dont teach British history in Britain, demonisation of the Nazis is considered far more important. But even I know that theres no British Queen in history called Nathalie.

Celebrity Mastermind, BBC1
John Humphrys: Who was Bill Clintons vice-president until 2002?
Sir Ranulph Fiennes: Lewinsky
If the aristocracy are this politically aware, what help is there for the masses? Confusing vice-presidents for shameless tarts. Actually when I put it like that its an easy mistake to make.

I could go on, there was a few more stories I wanted to cover, but Ive got a long day tomorrow. So goodnight and God bless.